friends, its been an interesting month. lots of change, lots of newness, lots of challenge, lots of sadness and pain, and about 10 days of a nasty exhausting cold/flu. and though it seems so incredibly self-defeating, I go fast and hard into self-loathing and self-hatred in times like this.
today, I read a blog about self-love. that we need to spend time connecting with our own beauty, remembering why we're great, remembering that we are light and love and perfection and glory, just as we are. and I thought, yep. I need to step back into that light, and out of this darkness of self-judgement and criticism and guilt and extreme meanness to myself.
and I just had this thought, I will commit to the next 10 days of self-nourishment. to heal. to bring myself back to love. to an awareness of love.
so, for the next 10 days, I'm going to go on a journey of taking care of me and returning to self-kindness and self-love. I will ask myself, is this nourishing to me? before I do anything. what I eat, who I spend time with, how I spend that time, I will ask, is this nourishing? I will take good care of me by only choosing what is kind and loving and nourishing to my soul.
I will be conscious of my negative self-talk, and I will tell it firmly to Stop. I will spend time in nature. I will perhaps get a massage, cause that is always nourishing to me. I will see friends if I feel like that is nourishing. I will perhaps cook a really healthy yummy meal or two. I will be aware and present for myself in everything I do in the next 10 days. And commit to treating myself with kindness, respect, admiration, warmth and love. to nourish and heal.
and as I write this, is the worry, is this so selfish? focus on others! you must be so selfish to want to do this. see, the negative self-talk that happens so quickly?
but what I know is this - I'm a little worn out and worn down right now. I'm a little in the throes of heartsickness and sadness. I need a little fill-up of joy and self-love and kindness and compassion. (I've received so so much of this from wonderful family and friends. thank you. time to do it for myself too). And I know this too - once I'm filled up, I ooze love and joy and compassion for those around me. it just pours out of me. but first, I need a little fill-up of some love and kindness and nourishment:)
so this is my goal - 10 days of nourishment and self-kindness and filling up my tank of self-love. feel free to ask me all about it, keep me accountable in doing so!! i'll keep you posted. and maybe you know you need a little of this too!
much love to ya