all you need is love...

it's true.
but I'm not talking about mushy romantic "you complete me" love.
not at all.

I'm talking about love that rests in your heart, that flows from the Divine, that vibrates deep inside you when you sit quietly in meditation, or see a rushing river or a precious baby or your dearest best friend, or hear a piece of music that makes you weep.

I'm talking about deep love for yourself. Not cockiness or arrogance, but a deep, respecting, honouring love for who you are. Perfectly you.

I'm talking about love that swells in your heart, without any effort, when you know that you are in the right place, the right moment, that everything is coming together exactly right, right now and you know that your life is perfect.

I'm talking about the love that pulses in your heart when you slow down enough to realize all the amazing things in your life and you are overwhelmed with gratitude and you know that you are so so blessed.

I'm talking about the love that quietly sneaks up on you, when you hang out with a friend for long enough, and you share quiet moments and kindnesses, and you realize that there is love there.

I'm talking about the love that binds all living beings. Love for people you'll never meet, across the world, when your heart feels broken that they are living such lives of struggles. Love for animals that are losing their habitats due to human greed and insensitivity (polar bears and gorillas make my heart swell, personally). Love for your parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and lovers and cats and dogs, that swells up, every so often, unbidden.

An understanding that we are all connected. That a beautiful spirit flows through each of us, connecting us with each other. A knowing that our lives are not really that different from each other - that we all experience joy and sorrow, happy times and deep struggles, light bright times and dark scary times.

Oh, if we could think on this. And remember that life is really hard for all of us at times. And all we really need to do is be kind to each other.

Let your love flow. Take time to be quiet and fill up from the beautiful Source of Love, open your heart and allow it to be filled by all things beautiful, and let the love flow. Cause THIS is the love that lasts, that fills, that satisfies.

Namaste, beautiful ones, love to you all!

Inside and Out

I am learning to become an observer, without judgement. This is tricky for me, cause I have a pretty loud Judge inside me. But yoga is helping me learn to observe, to watch, to just notice, without judging. My asana practice (physical postures) helps with this, my meditation practice helps with this, my pranayama practice (breath work) helps with this.

Here's what I observed this week. In me, and in others.

We have a habit of looking outward, instead of looking inward.

One morning this week, I took the bus to work, as I do most mornings. As I sat on my always-crowded bus, I noticed a young woman sitting across from me. She might have been 20, 22 years old. She looked really unhappy. She had sad eyes, her lips were drawn down in a frown, she looked like a discontented commuter (I get it, I likely look the same to others, especially on Monday mornings!!). Then, her phone must have vibrated, because she quickly picked it up and checked it. Immediately, her countenance brightened, her eyes lifted, her mouth turned into a soft smile, and a nice lightness came into her shoulders. She was uplifted by whatever came through on that text. I looked around, and all around me, people were on their phones, texting, reading, listening to music, checking out their Facebook, all those things people do with their amaz-a-phones these days!

And I started thinking, how easy it is to stay outside ourselves, all day long now. There is constant external stimuli for us, if we want to engage.

And I started to think about this young woman, who had seemed so sad, so unhappy, sitting there with her own thoughts, until something outside herself reached for her, and then the happiness came. There seemed to be such misery inside her (and I'm only noting what her face and body language were expressing), and she needed something outside her to bring her joy.

I relate to this. A couple of years ago, I became very aware that every time I felt alone, sad, lonely, I would desperately reach outside myself, to stop that feeling. I would pick up my phone and call anyone and everyone, until I could reach someone I could talk with.  It was an urgency, an insistency, almost a panic, that I needed to get outside myself to soothe the pain of loneliness. I'd check my texts with a compulsion, to see if anyone was out there. If I couldn't get anyone, I'd cruise around Facebook,  desperately trying to connect with someone, find someone who could make me feel happy. Other times, when I felt a lot of stress, I'd reach outside myself to turn on the TV, to numb the feelings.

But what I've slowly been learning, or remembering, is that everything I need is inside me. What I've discovered, as I watch these compulsions in me, is that every time I feel lonely, disconnected, or sad, it is usually as a result of my overly-busy life where I have not taken time to sit and be with me - I haven't journalled, meditated, gone for a walk, had a cup of tea with just me, in a few days. And what I've begun to remember, is that I like me. That I like being alone. That when I draw inside, and listen to how I'm feeling, and check in with myself, I can bring myself to a greater sense of joy and peace and contentment, than anything outside me ever could. I'm not undermining how important strong, healthy, loving relationships with others are. My dear friends and family are so important to me, and bring me great joy and wonderful support when I need it. But what I'm saying is, I'm responsible for drawing inward and finding my own joy, not waiting for something outside me to bring it along. That external "joy" is fleeting; the internal peace and stability is long-lasting.

We are an external-reaching society - look outside yourself for how you should look, act, be. Look to others for your worth, for your joy, for acceptance. And, as far as I can tell, it's not working so well. It has never worked for me. And with such horribly high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide in our world, this habit of looking outside ourselves for happiness and worth just doesn't seem to be working for many people. So, people, look inside! Just try it - when you feel sad, lonely, or anxious, try something new. Instead of hoping on that phone, try going inside yourself and sit with your thoughts and your feelings. Sit there with softness, kindness, love and gentleness for yourself. All you need is there. 

to thine own self be true...

There is just one life for each of us:  our own.  ~Euripides

Yoga teaches me so many things. Last night, it reminded me of the importance of being true to myself. To recognize that we are all unique beings, living our own lives, our own paths, and we have only to be true that that.

I teach yoga. I love sharing the teachings of yoga. For me, yoga is not so much about the physical. For me, it's not so much about twisting into crazy poses or holding my body weight on one arm, or building a tight, svelt body. For some people, it is, and that's their journey. But for me, it's always been about connecting with my breath, finding a place of stillness and quiet, developing love for myself and my body, being able to soften and breathe and allow love to flow. I love the history and philosophy of yoga. I love the spirit behind it. When I teach people, it is always with a focus on kindness and softness - kindness towards ourselves, acceptance of what's happening right now, without judgement. Softening the intensity in how we hold ourselves, how we breathe, how we live. If people leave my class feeling more centered, more peaceful, more joyous, and a little blissed out, I feel delighted. That is the gift that yoga gives me, and that's the gift I want others to discover.

Last night, I taught a beginner's class, and then a restorative class. Neither class was about accomplishment - they were about connecting with the breath, watching the body and breath become united in movement, and bringing our minds to a place of rest and stillness.

There were other classes going on in the studio at the same time, powerful, strong, active, hot classes. The people, and teachers, going in and out of those classes, are super-fit, super-strong. And I found myself becoming judgemental of myself - "am I teaching the right stuff? these people look pretty cool; they have better abs and shoulders and arms than I do. they have tats all over them. maybe I'm not cool. maybe I should teach that power-twisty-sweaty yoga". Really, I was transported back to grade 7-girl stuff - power hot yoga is so trendy, so popular, so "in"; and I had a flashback criticism: "I'm doing it wrong, I'm not in the in-crowd". Then I had a little giggle to myself. Observed the thoughts that I was having. Then came back to my breath, and my heart center, and realized, nope, that is NOT where I belong. That is not my path.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  ~e.e. cummings

In some ways, it would be easier to follow what is becoming more and more common in yoga - super-fit, focused on the body, gathering large numbers of people in classes. These classes certainly do attract larger numbers of people, than restorative, gentle, or beginners classes do, at least here in Ottawa. And I'd "fit in" with the fitness-yoga images I see all around me, in the media, etc. But yoga is giving me the courage to really open my eyes and see who I am. See what is truly important to me. And stay true to that. 

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.  ~e.e. cummings, 1955

I'm Back!

After a 2-week hiatus from teaching, due to Birthday celebrations, a break-up, and a cold from hell, I finally got back to what I love best, teaching yoga. ahhh... it felt so wonderful to be back. I have to confess, my body is a little stiff and tired and slow, after quite a bit of time in bed and on my couch. But it is delightful, to feel it begin to open up and heal and lengthen as I get back to my mat, as student and teacher. It's a bit of a slow road back, but I love feeling the creaks and pops and gentle sighs of my body, as I move slowly into postures that bring me back into alignment.

Last night, I taught a lovely group of people at the studio I love best, Upward Dog in Ottawa, Ontario (that's Canada, for my lovely readers around the world!). As we head into a chilly autumn and winter season, I am drawn towards backbends and heartopeners, poses that open us up to warmth and sunshine and love. But, just a note, backbends are stimulating, so it is advised to do these in the morning or daytime, not before bed! You might have difficulty sleeping after!

I set Camel as my apex pose, as shown above. In order to do this fairly intense backbend, there are a lot of body parts that need to be opened and stretched and warmed up. Lunges, salabhasana, cobra, and Warrior 1 are excellent for strengthening and opening up the front and back body, which is necessary for Camel.
The front of the legs, thighs, knees, and quads need to be warmed up, stretched, increased in flexibility, before going to Camel safely. Inverted table, quad stretches, and lunges will help with this. All of these poses also open up the chest, the neck, and the front of the shoulders.



When I brought students into Camel, I reminded them that it is a good thing to underachieve in yoga, and especially if this is a new pose or they feel stiffness in their body. It is crucial to have a long, open front body and spine. The spine should constantly be lengthening, as you begin to bring your hips forward into the bend. Hands can simply rest on the lower back, or come down to hold the heels, as shown in the photo above. When coming out of the pose, move slowly, bring the hands back up to the lower back, and thinking of that long spine, bring yourself up to a straight back.

In yoga, it is so important to follow vinyasa krama, or intelligent sequencing. In a nutshell, that simply means that you identify what parts of your body need to be warmed up and opened up and strengthened before you go into your apex pose, and choose poses to do before the apex, that will prepare you for that pose, safely. The last thing you want to do is rush into a pose before your body is ready, or you can cause injury to your body. After the apex pose, it is also important to do poses that will balance your body, bring it back into alignment, and allow your body to return to rest. After our powerful Camel, students were asked to fold forward, and gently bring themselves into Child's Pose, where they could rest and bring their spine back into alignment after the backbending.

So, this is just a brief explanation of our fun backbending class. Hearts were opened, chests were expanded, and as we ended our class, we rested our awareness at our hearts, and said the following intention together, 3 times:

May my heart be filled with lovingkindness.

May I be well.

May I be peaceful and at ease.

May I be happy. 

I hope you enjoy this intention. It's so lovely, this lovingkindness meditation. May your hearts be opened and may you be filled with joy in this season.
Namaste!

Restorative Yoga

Hi! I hope you've all had a lovely weekend. Here in Ottawa, the sun was shining, it was a glorious fall weekend. So grateful for warm sunny weather at the end of September! I want to soak it all in, while it's still around!

I've just begun a training course in Restorative Yoga, based on the work of Judith Lasater (http://www.restorativeyogateachers.com/learntopractice.html). It was 17 hours this past weekend, and there will be two more weekends like it, to become certified. What a wonderful, entirely different perspective on yoga! Restorative Yoga focuses on using props, to allow people to fully experience the rest and deep relaxation that is available in yoga. It is a practice that, to me, is all about compassion, gentleness, and rest. There is no movement, no striving, no pushing deeper into poses. It is about rest, deep relaxation, and the breath.

 We live in a society that is all about moving. About going, planning, thinking, learning, acting. Our sympathetic nervous system (responsible for fight-or-flight responses) is always in action for this. Our parasympathetic nervous system, which allows us to deeply relax, rest, and heal, is often under-used, and begins to "forget" how to operate. Restorative Yoga brings people into restful postures, for long periods of time, and thus begins to activate that parasympathetic system. While this system is active, our bodies can reach that level of rest, where our bodies can heal themselves from whatever is ailing us. It's wonderful for anxiety, for depression, for burn-out, for recovery from surgery, for sleep-deprivation, for recovery from illness and disease.

Doesn't it look delicious and nurturing? I'm excited to learn more about it, and then begin to share it with the people in my life and my students. In the mean time, I will offer you this - find some pillows, get yourself cozy, breathe deeply, and allow yourself to rest!

Namaste.

Unassuming Heroes

I just wanted to give a little shout-out to a hero I saw today. It was on my daily bus ride. If I can be honest with you, I don't particularly like riding the bus. I know it's good for our earth, keeps me out of my car, moves a whole lotta people to work. But I really don't like it - the smells, the noise, the pushing, the closeness of all those people offend my North American need for personal space :) And really, most people on there appear really grumpy and frowny and unhappy.

But today. I saw a hero. A little wrinkly stooped man, missing a few teeth. Someone you would never give a second glance to. He got on, and gave the driver the best smile and hello and little chat. He wasn't rushed, didn't have an agenda to follow, just meandered on and engaged with the people he met. There was some garbage lying on the floor of the bus, which many people (myself included) had walked over, not noticing, or not making the effort to pick it up. This little jolly peaceful man did notice, and did make the effort, and picked it up and threw it in the bin.

I'm not sure why this one little moment made such an impression on me, but it did. Perhaps because in the midst of all the rushing, frantic, grumpy energy that is here on city transit, and that I seem to get pulled into so easily, this little man was a bright light, smiling and showing kindness. Kindness to the people he met, kindness to the environment he was in. He took a tiny step to make a difference, to make his world a cleaner place. Not a big effort, but it was noticed. That little man, unassuming and unpretentious, is a hero.

And it felt delightful to recognize that. And I think I'm going to make that my mission this week - to notice heroes all around me. Have you seen any heroes today?